Not a Fan of Change

I know, I know, I know.  The only constant is change.  *sigh*

Unfortunately, if you are an ADHDer, change is NOT your friend.  Not at all.

These days, I'm terrified to watch the news.  I don't want to know what new changes are headed my way.  All paying attention does is make me want to hide under a rock somewhere.

Sudden change plays into my anxiety- the anxiety that is an offshoot of the ADHD in the first place.  Unfortunately, we live in a world of sudden and constant change.

So now what?

If you're an ADHDer, you need structure- that you may hate- but absolutely must have.  In a constantly changing world, the best defense starts at home.

Rigid structure is your friend.  Pick a place for your keys and wallet and put those things there FIRST.  Don't give in to messages that tell you that you will find them if you put them somewhere else, you won't.

A funny- back a few years ago I was in a contract that had me getting home after hubby.  I would get home and put my purse in its corner, exchange a few pleasantries, and go upstairs to change and decompress.  Hubby was the chef in our house so I generally had a good half hour before supper.

I would come back downstairs for supper and invariably, hubby and I would soon be arguing.  Stupid stuff, all of it.  Finally the light went on.  He moved my purse.

Once we figured out what we were REALLY arguing about, we could fix the problem.

In short?  If you live with a spouse and/or others, set those boundaries.  I need things to be where I need them to be.  When hubby was alive, we had those discussions.  Since his death, I put things where I must have them and don't worry about them moving.

The places where I struggle with structure today is a sense of not caring.  If I don't grocery shop on the day I have set, I can rationalize it.  This proves that man is NOT a rational animal but a rationalizing animal.  This doesn't work in my favor.

I think what I've learned is that even in my fifties, I have to be exceedingly careful.  I need to constantly build structure and find ways that I can enforce it.  The vigilance never ends.

Incidentally?  If you find yourself wanting to hide under the bed because yet another thing is changing in your world, know that you are not alone.  And sometimes, you may have to give in to the urge.

Want to learn more about ADHD or need support?  Check out http://adhdcommunity.boards.net/