If you are an ADHDer like me, you greet the idea of Mother's Day with both expectation and doubt. Expectation because THIS year you have figured out how she wants to be honored, and doubt that you have truly nailed it.
From one ADHDer to another, simply don't go there.
Ages ago I learned that all I had to do was give her everything she wanted- within my ability to give. So simple, so difficult.
Rather than get caught up in the "sit and spin" of life, let's take a moment and value what we can of our mothers.
My lovely friend Mary remembers her mother as being a part of her heart. My mother in law remembers her mother the same way. I must join them. Our mothers shape and define us- even when we aren't looking. When we can't be with our mothers on their special Mother's Day, many of us feel lost. We yearn for our mothers.
We're normal and rational. Imagine that.
ADHDers bring more luggage to this party. Many of us feel sorrow, shame, and regret along with more. We are not- and never could be- the daughters our mothers hoped for. We fell so short of the expectation that soon we quit trying- even though our emotional self was pleading to keep trying and our logical self was pulling the brakes.
For an ADHDer, Mother's Day is more than a Hallmark Holiday, it is a gamut that must be run every year- much to our own chagrin.
This year I urge you to just take time with your Mom. I can't get to CA to place flowers on my mother's grave but I can take steps to honor her and remember her. I can take my mother in law to brunch- her request- and relish that I can still have her in my life.
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