Who Am I? Claiming Myself

I love opera and my absolute favorite is Les Miserables.  I have it on DVD and frequently go to sleep with the beautiful music of a France in revolution and the lives of those who were a part of that undertaking.

Let me explain...

Must I lie? 

How can I ever face my fellow men?   

How can I ever face myself again?  

My soul belongs to God, I know  

I made that bargain long ago  

He gave me hope, when hope was gone   

He gave me strength to journey on!  

Who am I? 

24601! 

Les Miserables - Who Am I? Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

It is currently a kind of requirement to insist that people toe an often invisible line.  If you unwittingly cross that line, the requirement is that you apologize immediately, regardless of your values or morals.  We have devalued the idea that even those who speak their truth have a right to do so.

When you live with ADHD, you live a life of constant screw ups.  The "polite" filter was likely never developed and you find yourself speaking your mind... only to apologize for it later.  If not, you find yourself crossing out whole numbers of people because you know you screwed up and you're too embarrassed to address it.

In our current world this can bring on even greater impact.  Jobs that we with ADHD can't get or keep, the "requirement" of constant apology that keeps us from even trying to be social.  We hide, we refuse to proclaim our truths, our beliefs, we become small.

Well, okay.  Let me tell you who I am.

I am a Catholic.  I chose this religion for a variety of reasons.  None of them involved my mother-in-law who is also Catholic.  That said, I have been grateful to be able to discuss with her MY reasons for conversion.

I am conservative.  My parents were both unashamed Republicans and it rubbed off.  That said, I have been told that many of my beliefs are decidedly liberal.  I wouldn't know.  This might make me an Independent.  That works too.

I believe that you have a right to be exactly who you are at all times and without apology.  I will fight for this right.  In return, I believe that I should be allowed to be who I am and without apology.

Finally, I think that if you are offended by me or my beliefs you want to be offended.  My beliefs haven't hurt you nor will they unless you try to build a home in my garage.

I'm an ADHDer.  I can't fix that.  I can't really change many of the ways it shows.  I can do my best to understand how ADHD affects me and I can develop coping strategies that are workable.  At the end, I will simply be an ADHDer who has learned to function marginally in the world I live in.  Like Jean ValJean, I can't change who I am.

Who am I?  An ADHDer with a blog.