ADHD and Money Don't Mix... For Me

ADHDers live with a lack of Executive Function.  Executive function manages- at a high level- time and memory along with cue comprehension.  Toss on top that many- even most ADHDers live with dyslexia, dyscalculia, and/or dysgraphia.

I got dysgraphia and dyscalculia.  I can't manage math to save my soul and can only write in longhand by drawing.  I'm actually lucky.  I know this about me.

On the downside, I am also unlucky.  I don't have a way to manage numbers.  When my husband was alive, he did this.  Since his death, I have tried my best and failed miserably.

I'm currently in the unpleasant situation of having to deal with a lien on my bank accounts.  This came as a complete surprise to me- don't they have to tell you before they do this kind of thing?  Apparently not as my life attests.

Tomorrow I have to go to my bank and hopefully figure out how to deal with this.  If I can't, I don't know what I will do next.

This day in my ADHD life is about trying to force myself to the bank in the morning.  I've tried for three days to do this but have failed.  I'm terrified of what I might learn and don't know how to deal with any of it.  What I know is that I need to pay my bills and can't do that right now- because of this lien... that I know nothing about... but have to manage.

I want to crawl under a rock.

The projections of my mind leave me wondering where I will live.  The idea of having to leave the home I shared with my Mike leaves me nauseous.

This only serves to support a destructive need to hide from everyone and everything.

I don't know how I am going to deal with the massive overwhelm that my current situation is.  I would love to say that I will be fabulously organized about it all and have an action plan.  I can't say that.

Somehow, I have to fight the massive anxiety and overwhelm and figure out what in hell is going on.

Wish me luck.