Beautiful People, A Beautiful Day

In every news cycle, it seems like we are invited to the plight of someone- gay, straight, black, white or a measure between, mentally stable or otherwise.

We are supposed to direct our attention to the subject of the media crowing with the expectation that we will come to their conclusions- and given only their evidence, how could right-minded people come to any other?

If you have ADHD, you are in a minefield that is as fearsome to navigate as it might sound.  If you were anyone else, the world would care about how you negotiate it.  But you only have ADHD- something that isn't considered to be real.

The killer of ADHD is that it is a disorder of executive functioning.  An ADHDer screws something up and it is believed to be a deliberate thing- not a manifestation of the disorder.  So what happens?  The person with ADHD is believed to be awkward because of their own choosing.

I recall being in first grade and believing that I had been called on to read.  So I did- and accurately.  Instead of being praised by the teacher for having completed the task, I was taken to task- publicly- for doing what I thought I was being asked to do.  Evidently, I had been called on only to provide a word.  I had not been attentive to THAT task, I had been attentive to the reading task.  Oops.

I refused to engage after that.  I became certain that any effort would be met with more shame.  I had enough from other avenues and surely didn't need to invite more.

That lesson taught me nothing positive.  What it lent to all my life was an obscene struggle in dealing with people- a struggle I have to this day.  I am terrified that any move I make will be the wrong one and I am scared of losing what contact I have with the world outside.

I'm still puzzling through how to manage this.  I truly have little to offer in terms of suggestions.  I just thought I'd toss the challenge out to the collective and listen to your ideas.