Impulse Control? Seriously?

If you live with ADHD, you have discovered an immutable truth- I shoulda kept my mouth shut!!!

Welcome to Impulse Control 101.

Someone asked me, "How do you manage impulse?"  My response then was, "I don't!  I have ADHD!"

After some thought, I realized that I DO manage impulse and I do it every day.  Coping strategies at work.

So the question is, "HOW!!!!!!"

I think that, for me, the most important thing I ever learned was that I would be responsible for any impulsive thing I did.  Impulsive conversation could do me in as much as impulsive action.  Did that lesson come easily?  No.

So what are the coping strategies that I found to work?  Several.

Shopping/buying/living with the purchase:  If I'm making a purchase under $100, I do my best.  Generally, this works out well but can be iffy.  When my husband was alive, I could run things through him.  He was generally willing to let me spend as I wished but was also good at making me think things through.

Since my husband died, I have had to make some huge and frightening purchases.  I needed to replace the flooring in our home- the original carpet was a CSI episode.  I needed to turn the living room back into a living room.  The largest space on the main floor, it was the logical place to turn into my husband's final bedroom.  New flooring, paint on the walls, a new lighting fixture- the old one got in my way at a critical time.  I was going to write a very big cheque at a time I was in no condition to make decisions and my impulsive self was busily hating everything.

I had the ability to call in another responsible adult.  My poor mother in law found herself in the sad position of having to "babysit" me as I tried desperately to make decisions.

Message?  Find people you trust and believe what they tell you.  My MIL was frank in her opinions and was willing to question any issue that she saw as questionable.  I was able to meet the needs and even save some money with her help.

What do you do if you don't have someone to lean on?

Check with your bank.  Often they try to give you a liberal use on your debit card at the ATM and purchase.  If you know that you tend to overspend, ask your bank to help you by setting limits.  My bank also knows that out of state transactions are unusual for me.  They ask me if I authorized unusual transactions before they permit them.  They also know that I won't spend over $500 generally.  If they see that amount- outside of my known bill paying habit, they flag the transaction.  I love my bank.

If you are alone and are not willing to discuss your issues with your banker, consider placing limits on your debit card.  Set a daily limit for withdrawal and/or purchase.  Now you HAVE to live with it.

If you have impulse issues, choose to not have a credit card.  They can eat you alive.  Do as much as you can in cash.

I have a small amount of money that I can spend for nothing in particular.  That small amount is generally around $100 a month.  I try to not spend this money without some considered thought.

Impulsive purchasers need to find external things that will help to restrict them.  A bank, a spouse, a friend, whatever.  More importantly, an impulsive purchaser needs to know that they are an impulsive purchaser so that they can find assistance.


The next blog will discuss social impulse control.  Bet you can't wait!